Emotional Baggage

[Trivium515]

Truly a good method TD, and one that I use often. I also keep a hand written diary, some times I'll tear out the pages, some times I'll leave them in because I think it is important for me to go back and read to see how I've grown over the years. Even though you're the only one who reads it, it's getting the emotion out of yourself, and it's especially good if you don't feel you should burden someone else with it. It's a beautiful thing because once it's down on paper, you can evaluate it and the way you're dealing with it, think it through, even, if you're very lucky, come up with a way to solve your problems, but most times like TD said it's just a really great way to clear out your system. Maybe you should try this method nickel?

[Lasher]

I'm with you guys, the write-it-down and then disappear-it method is very effective. The delete button is so wonderfully absolute. I love it. For me, the old-fashioned burning of the paper is a favorite... still do it sometimes... It's the visual impact that does it... and the smell. Course the old standby is the scream-into-a-pillow one. That works. Another old one was writing it all down on balloons then stamping on them... cause that's fun. Insta-release and the giggles to boot.

None of that is heat-of-the-moment management though. I think that, that just takes discipline and practice in withdrawing from a situation far enough to see that your body is producing adrenaline in response to your upset which is going to cause what's coming out of your mouth to become less and less rooted. I think once you are aware of that spiral it's far more feasible to become aware of the possibility that the object of your emotions is being sucked along in the same whirlpool. (We're talking humans here - no inanimate objects) I think once that happens an empathic stabilizing process naturally happens.

All of which is easier said than done

Preventative method to avoid the whole sitch altogether? The age-old meditation and exercise routine helps you to be more in tune with your body and mind to keep you centered and keep yourself from being overwhelmed by emotion in general. And in tune with those around you. Can't beat the classics, as they say... which brings to mind some of P-G's more mature members... maybe they might have some better advice.

[Kwan Yu]

Ancient Chinese remedy for control of hot temper:
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10. ;D

[murex]

Kick your dog.

[TarotDragon]

lasher said:

For me, the old-fashioned burning of the paper is a favorite... still do it sometimes... It's the visual impact that does it... and the smell. Course the old standby is the scream-into-a-pillow one. That works. Another old one was writing it all down on balloons then stamping on them... cause that's fun. Insta-release and the giggles to boot.

I want you to know that I seriously worry about you sometimes. ;D

lasher said:

None of that is heat-of-the-moment management though. I think that, that just takes discipline and practice in withdrawing from a situation far enough to see that your body is producing adrenaline in response to your upset which is going to cause what's coming out of your mouth to become less and less rooted.

I think people with quicker minds tend to let their emotions go a lot more. They can express them quicker and clearer, more cuttingly which drives the situation even farther. Man, if I could think and express how I felt in some situations... well, I probably wouldn't be here today. But for people like that, I could see where it would be harder to gain control of yourself, find the restraints to just shut up and get out. For me, shutting up is almost always the best answer to a fight, but you gotta fight with yourself to find that kind of control.

[nickelfire]

strictlyplatonic said:

I think people with quicker minds tend to let their emotions go a lot more. They can express them quicker and clearer, more cuttingly which drives the situation even farther. Man, if I could think and express how I felt in some situations... well, I probably wouldn't be here today. But for people like that, I could see where it would be harder to gain control of yourself, find the restraints to just shut up and get out. For me, shutting up is almost always the best answer to a fight, but you gotta fight with yourself to find that kind of control.

Amen, that is exactly what I'm saying, and I've had similar, fiery experiences that are more than anything, just plain destructive.
Someone gets it!

[piper]

Emotion is like a tornado, either it stirs up all your junk and one never knows where it is going to land.

To learn to channel those forces is a phenomenal achievement. I've met the rare person that could do it. I would say that most of us doubt that it could even be done. Expecially negative emotion. Yet wqe all know it is bad for ourselves and anyone subjected to it. Just laziness?

[nickelfire]

I don't know but I'd like to! ;D

[Lasher]

strictlyplatonic said:

I want you to know that I seriously worry about you sometimes.

Be nice.

strictlyplatonic said:

I think people with quicker minds tend to let their emotions go a lot more. They can express them quicker and clearer, more cuttingly which drives the situation even farther. Man, if I could think and express how I felt in some situations... well, I probably wouldn't be here today.

I know what you mean... I've always envied someone with a quick tongue, it must be so much more satisfactory... but, yeah more like to regret it later. I mostly just sputter, which is embaresing on top of it all.

piper said:

To learn to channel those forces is a phenomenal achievement. I've met the rare person that could do it. I would say that most of us doubt that it could even be done. Expecially negative emotion. Yet wqe all know it is bad for ourselves and anyone subjected to it. Just laziness?

Maybe so... because it is possible. To swallow it and not have the last word, to have the grace to let it go, to admit to yourself that you are at fault in some way or another. Giving in is probably indulgence. But channeling... part of you needs to be in a hazmat suit to handle such a volatile substance as emotion and all the baggage attached. Like you have to be uneffected by your own affectiveness.

[piper]

lasher said:

I know what you mean... I've always envied someone with a quick tongue, it must be so much more satisfactory... but, yeah more like to regret it later. I mostly just sputter, which is embaresing on top of it all.

I used to have a really quick sharp tongue and the quicker and faster the more jolt I got from it. Ego. Thought I was so clever.

I don't think that when you're in that frame of mind you are actually experiencing much remorse. I don't think that comes till years later or whenever you begin to become self realized instead of ego realized and you begin to realize how obnoxious you may have been. Then again there is something to be said for just letting it fly and the truth coming out and burning up all the crap in its wake....

But that thing about just stuffing it when someone walks on your soul wow that's not easy. Very good spiritual practice to see if you can actually not get all hurt and injured or mad at someone.

See that's why they call it baggage cuz you have to carry it around till you figure it out.

[nickelfire]

Nay, impossible I say! neither are possible! Holding back your objections and seeing your own faults while in the moment... *sighs wistfully* Yeah right!
And channeling! uhuh... sure...
Oh, but it would be nice... (role-playing: ...to destroy my verbal opposition tastefully, tactfully, respectfully, and indifferently... ...well to actually be RIGHT is another story.)
*sighs wistfully once more* My kingdom for kingship over my emotions...